Christmas is already full of lights, treats, and fun traditions, but a good joke can make it even better. Kids love to laugh, and silly holiday jokes are an easy way to keep everyone smiling while you wait for cookies to bake, presents to be opened, or family to arrive. You can tell these Christmas jokes at the dinner table, in the car, during a classroom party, or while you’re all hanging out in pajamas. Some are groan-worthy, some are clever, and all of them are clean and kid-friendly, so you don’t have to worry about who’s listening. Grab a few favorites, take turns telling them, and see who laughs first—kids, parents, or grandparents.
Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
A: An abdominal snowman.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
A: It needed a trim before the big day.
Q: What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why was the math book sad at Christmas?
A: It had too many “problems” to wrap up.
Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas?
A: Sandy Claws.
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: Why did the ornament go to school?
A: It wanted to be a little brighter.
Q: Where does Santa keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
Q: What do you get when Santa stops moving?
A: Santa Pause.
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet.
Q: Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
A: He was picking his nose.
Q: How do snowmen travel around?
A: By icicle.
Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: Water.
Q: Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
A: He felt crumby.
Q: What do you call a snowman with a sunburn?
A: A puddle.
Q: Why did Santa go to music school?
A: So he could improve his wrapping.
Q: What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
A: Jingle smells.
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite candy?
A: Jolly Ranchers.
Q: Why did the Christmas cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because it felt crummy.
Q: What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
A: Santa “Pause.”
Q: Why don’t Christmas trees sew?
A: They always drop their needles.
Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite game?
A: Freeze tag.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree wear a sweater?
A: It was feeling a little “chilly.”
Q: What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A: A snowball.
Q: What do you get when you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A: A pineapple.
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite subject in school?
A: Chemis-tree.
Q: What do you call a reindeer who can’t see?
A: I have no-eye-deer.
Q: Why is it so cold at Christmas?
A: Because it’s in Decem-brrrr.
Q: What do elves use to take photos?
A: Elf-ies.
Q: Why did the snowman call his dog “Frost”?
A: Because Frost bites.
Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In a snowbank account.
Q: Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?
A: He went down in history, not math.
Q: What is Santa’s favorite snack?
A: Ho-ho-hos.
Q: What do you call a snowman party?
A: A snowball.
Q: What do reindeer say before telling a joke?
A: “This one’s gonna sleigh you!”
Q: Why did the elf put his bed in the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.
Q: What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes?
A: Comet-dian.
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: Wrap music.
Q: Why was the Christmas tree so bad at knitting?
A: It kept dropping its needles.
Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: Why did the reindeer cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Q: What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A: A snow-fibber.
Q: How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free?
A: He uses Claus-tarch.
Q: Why did the elf sit on the clock?
A: He wanted to make some “elf time.”
Q: What do elves do after school?
A: Their gnome-work… just kidding, their elf-work.
Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
A: Ice tea.
Q: Why did the ornament break up with the tree?
A: It felt too “hung up.”
Q: What did one snowflake say to the other?
A: “You’re one of a kind!”
Q: What does Santa use to tell time?
A: A North Pole-aroid clock.
Q: Why don’t snowmen ever argue?
A: They just let things slide.
Q: What do you call Santa when he loses his pants?
A: Saint Knickerless.
Q: What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A: A hum-bug.
Q: Where does Santa go to vote?
A: The North Poll.
Q: How do you know Santa is good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
A: Santa Clues.
Q: Why is Santa so good at checking lists?
A: He’s very Claus-trophobic about mistakes.
Q: Why did the turkey join the Christmas band?
A: Because it had the drumsticks.
Q: What kind of photos do elves love?
A: Santa-grams.
Q: What do you call a snowman with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
Q: What do you call a reindeer with headphones on?
A: Anything you want—he can’t hear you either.
Q: Why did Santa’s helper look so sad?
A: He had low elf-esteem.
Q: Why did the snowman go to the party?
A: Because he heard it was going to be a “snowball.”
Q: What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
A: Orna-mints.
Q: Where do elves go when they’re sick?
A: The “elf” clinic.
Q: Why did Santa cross the road?
A: To get to the other chimneys.
Q: How does a snowman get around his neighborhood?
A: He rides an “icicle.”
Q: What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A: A pineapple (again!).
Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
Q: Why was the snowman rummaging in the fridge?
A: He was looking for his nose snacks.
Q: How do you scare a snowman?
A: You say “here comes the sun!”
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they’re Santa’s star “bucks.”
Q: What do you call Santa when he’s on the beach?
A: Sandy Claus.
Q: Why did the present go to jail?
A: It was “wrapped” in mystery.
Q: Why was the Christmas tree good at singing?
A: It had great “spruce-ture.”
Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite snack?
A: Ice Krispies.
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite kind of chip?
A: Krisp Pringles.
Q: Why did the gingerbread man sit on the computer?
A: To have a cookie on the desktop.
Q: What do elves use when they’re cold?
A: Elf-warmers.
Q: Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A: Because of all the “wrap.”
Q: What’s the best Christmas present?
A: A broken drum—you just can’t beat it.
Q: What do you call a rude reindeer?
A: Rude-olph.
Q: How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A: He checks his “calen-deer.”
Q: What is Santa’s favorite key on the keyboard?
A: The space bar (he loves space for the sleigh!).
Q: Why did the snowman read the newspaper?
A: To see the “weather” forecast.
Q: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A: Tinsel-itis.
Q: Why was the elf late to work?
A: He got stuck in the “snow”-traffic.
Q: What does Santa use to garden?
A: A hoe-ho-ho.
Q: Why didn’t the snowman go to school?
A: He was “too cool” for class.
Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A: A Holly Davidson.
Q: What do you call a snowman that can play piano?
A: A “melt-ody” maker.
Q: Why did the reindeer bring a pencil to the party?
A: In case he needed to draw the curtains.
Q: What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A: “Hang in there!”
Q: Why did Santa take a ladder to the bar?
A: He heard the drinks were on the house.
(Optional to skip if you want zero bar references.)
Q: What does a snowman take when the sun gets too bright?
A: A chill pill.
Q: Why did the candy cane go to school?
A: It wanted to be a “smartie.”
Q: What do you call an elf that sings?
A: A wrapper.
Q: Why was the kid excited about the broken drum he got for Christmas?
A: Nobody could beat his present.
Q: What did one Christmas light say to the other?
A: “You light up my life!”
Q: Why do snowmen like winter break?
A: Because they get to “chill out.”
Q: What does Santa say when he takes attendance?
A: “Present!”
Christmas doesn’t have to be complicated to feel special; sometimes all you need is a few good jokes and people to share them with. These Christmas jokes for kids are simple, easy to remember, and perfect for filling quiet moments with laughter. You can write a few on slips of paper and drop them into stockings, put one at each place setting for Christmas dinner, or save them on your phone for long drives and waiting rooms. However you use them, the real gift is the shared smile and the little burst of joy that comes with a silly punchline.